Chapter V - Down Memory Lane

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Jim and Ethan are driven back to the Club Jaguar, for a meeting with Dr. Lockwood, and are then driven to the office of the eminent psychiatrist who had been retained by the 'Boss', atconsiderable expense, to help with Jim's memory loss - and then Jim is hurled into the vortex of his lost memories....
"Oh shit ! That's the door !", Ethan said, jerking up from his embrace with Jim.
"We've fuckin' overslept !"
Ethan rushed round the bedroom, trying to find his trousers - struggled into them - and then fell over while trying to zip up his flies.
"Great...we've overslept !", Jim said, sitting up in bed, and stating the obvious.
Ethan scampered down the hall, bare chested, and with bare feet.
"Hello !", he answered down the entry 'phone.
"Good morning, Sir. It's Chuck here - with the limo."
"OK Chuck - we've overslept. -Sorry - Just wait in the limo, and we'll be down as soon as we can get ready.
"OK - no problem, Sir". Chuck answered calmly.
Ethan bounded back to the bedroom, where Jim was trying to sort out his clothes, which he had hastily discarded the previous night, when stripping off for his late night swim.
"Just put on casual stuff !", Ethan said, "You're only go to see some crazy 'shrink' !
"Crazy what ?", Jim asked, as he struggle to get into his very tight jeans.
"'Shrink', dummy. - It's slang for a psychiatrist." Ethan replied.
"And what's a psychiatrist ?", Jim then asked, as he bolted into the bathroom to brush his teeth.
"Someone that you need very badly.", Ethan replied. - "To get that fuckin' stupid memory of yours working again !".
Eventually they were both doused in cologne, and dressed, in what people of the time described as 'smart casual' - and they were also very stylish.
"Shit, I'm hungry !", Ethan moaned, a they rushed out of the main doors of the penthouse, and galloped over to the elevator.
In next to no time they were down at the main entrance, where Chuck was patiently waiting.
"Hi, Chuck !", Ethan said breathlessly.
"Good morning, Sirs." Chuck said, utterly relaxed.
"I came a little early, so there's no problem."
"Good !", Ethan said.
"Then perhaps we can stop off at a McDonald's for a double cheeseburger on the way ?", Ethan suggested, hopefully.
The Cadillac Eldorado - Parked outside McDonald's
"Of course, no problem, Sir.", Chuck replied as he opened the doors of the limo for the two boys.
The journey, like the Cadillac, (which was a dazzling two-tone job, in pink - yes pink - and white), went very smoothly, with a welcome stop, when Chuck's assistant got out of the limo, and bought some cheeseburgers and drinks at the inevitable McDonald's.
Ethan and Jim, having munched their way through the cheeseburgers, arrived once again at the Club Jaguar.
Leaving Chuck parked outside, the boys went to the reception, and asked for Dr Lockwood, and then sat on one of the oversized black leather sofas, and waited.

They didn't have long to wait as the Doc quickly arrived, smiling.
He shook the boys' hands, and looked genuinely pleased to see them
"Come with me to the office.", he said, putting his arm on Jim's shoulder.
Ethan followed, feeling a little neglected.
Dr. Lockwood
"So, take a seat, gentlemen - and tell me, Jim, how are you feeling ?"
"Physically I feel fine.
I even went for a swim in that amazing pool at the penthouse.", Jim enthused.
"And sleeping ?", the doc queried.
"No problem - although now I have got the problem of Ethan snoring.", Jim said, grinning at Ethan.
"So you boys are sleeping together ?", the Doc asked.
"Yes.... but not like that. ", Jim stuttered, obviously embarrassed.
"Well not yet !", Ethan added, with  a lascivious smile.
"Well that's not a problem, Jim, so don't get embarrassed.
You two lads do what feel is right - but for both of you." the Doc added.
"Yes, sir, we understand." Ethan answered, for once surprisingly serious.
"But now and I'll explain what's happening today.", the Doc said, perching himself on the front of his desk.
"Later I will give Chuck the address, and mobile number of Dr Brandt.
He's a top rate psychiatrist, who specialises in post traumatic amnesia, and post traumatic stress disorders."
"Post whats' ?", Ethan said, looking very bemused.
"Well...let me explain - but I'll keep it quite simple, as Dr Brandt may well want to explain things more fully.
Post-traumatic stress disorder is a mental condition that's triggered by a trauma - most often a terrifying event - either experiencing it, or witnessing it.
Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.
It can also cause a loss of memory - which we call 'amnesia' - and a loss of a sense of identity - and this seems to be Jim's main problem.
Equally, the person affected may develop a completely new identity - and sometimes even more than one identity."
"So what your'e really saying is that Jim's crazy !", Ethan concluded.
"No, Ethan - not at all - and I think that you know that really."
Ethan nodded, trying to be serious again.
Post-traumatic amnesia is a little different, and is a state of confusion that occurs immediately following a traumatic injury - usually to the head - in which the injured person is disoriented, and unable to remember events that occur after the injury.
The person effected may be unable to state his name, where he is, or what time it is.
Jim's symptoms indicated what we term 'anterograde amnesia', which is a problem with creating new memories after the trauma has taken place, but this aspect of Jim's problem I think has now resolved itself.
There was a soft buzz - indicating that someone was waiting to be admitted to Lockwood's office.
Lockwood leaned over, and pressed a button on his desktop, and the office door clicked - obviously unlocking.
"Come in !", Lockwood called out.
The door swung open, revealing the 'Boss'.
"Sorry to disturb you, Doctor.
Hello boys.
I just stopped by to see how you lads were.", the 'Boss' said quietly, as both Ethan and Jim stood up.
"Don't be nervous, boys.
Nothing's wrong.
Just wanted to see how you were." the 'Boss' continued, rather pointlessly repeating himself, realizing that his two young charges were surprised to see him.
"We're fine.", Ethan said, trying to look relaxed.
"Well just sit down and relax.", the 'Boss' said, as he walked over to the third armchair and sat himself down.
"And you, Jim.
Your feeling well ?", the Boss asked.
"Very well, thank you, Sir.", Jim answered.
"So...I want you - Jim - to promise me that you'll co-operate with Dr Brandt.
Be honest with him - open, and tell him everything.
But, if he reports back to me that he feels that you are not co-operating - then I may have to rethink our connection.
That would sadden me, and I think it would also sadden Ethan, and Dr. Lockwood.
You see, although we have all known you for only a very, very short time, we all like you, and want the best for you - but we need you to be well.
Do I make myself clear ?". the 'Boss' asked, obviously very seriously.
"Yes, Sir.", Jim nodded, touched by the concern that the 'Boss' was showing, but also alarmed that there was a chance that he could lose the help and protection that the 'Boss' was intending to give him.
"So Doc, have you finished with the boys ?", the 'Boss' asked.
"Yes, Sir." Lockwood replied, nervously collecting up some papers that were on his desk.
"Then I'll 'phone Brandt, and tell him the boys are on their way.", the 'Boss' said as a parting shot, as he left the room.
"Right then boys - off you go, and I'll see you again, Jim, when I get some feed-back from Dr Brandt". Lockwood said, and Ethan and Jim got to their feet, and left the Doctor's consulting room - feeling that they had been rather summarily dismissed.
"One thing...", Jim said to Ethan, as they made their way to the reception area.
"What's a mobile number ?".
Ethan looked at Jim despairing.
"The quicker we get you to this Brandt guy the better, !" Ethan said as he stomped over to Chuck.
"You got the number and the address of this doctor ?", Ethan asked Chuck.
"Yes Sir.", Chuck replied.
"OK - then let's go, and 'put the pedal to the metal' !", Ethan said forcefully, and, of course, Jim didn't have a clue what his obviously exasperated young friend was talking about.


Both Jim and Ethan were silent during their drive from the Club Jaguar to the Offices of Dr Brandt.
Jim was puzzled by Dr Lockwood's description of Traumatic Stress Disorder - and Ethan was worried that if Brandt though that Jim was not being truthful and open, the Jim might be put back on the streets.
It was not that Ethan was simply concerned for Jim's safety, and future - Ethan was equally concerned that he might loose the only companion to whom he had ever really felt close.
Eventually the limo pulled up outside a very distinguished looking office building.
Jim had no idea what to expect, as he didn't really understand what a psychiatrist was.
Ethan, however, had been expecting a dingy looking office, with a worn out couch, peeling paintwork, a dilapidated desk and a general air of decay.
On entering Brandt's offices, though, Ethan found that this was not the case.
The offices were smart and modern, the furniture all steel and black leather, and the interior decoration similar to the 'penthouse' apartment that the 'Boss' had given him to use.
Dr Brandt - PsyaD, PsyD.
The only thing that did conform to Ethan's expectations, and with a vengeance, was Dr Brandt himself.
Dr Brandt was probably in his late fifties, with grey hair, a beard, and smoking a cigar.
In addition, he had, perhaps inevitably, a German, or possibly Austrian accent - and Ethan had the oddest feeling that he had met, or at least seen the man somewhere before - but where ?
"Good morning, gentlemen !", Dr Brandt began, looking the two young men over very carefully.
"And which of you two is supposed to be my patient. ?", the doctor asked, obviously confused.
"Er... it's him er, Sir...", Ethan said, pointing to Jim.
"And what is this ?... Can't the boy speak ?", Brandt asked in a querulous, and seemingly central European manner.
"Well, Sir, he's just shy.
I don't think he's met anyone like you before." Ethan explained.
"All right...well come in - but not you boy.", Brandt said, pointing to Ethan.
"Go and sit over there - I only treat one patient at a time, and he's not such a baby that he needs someone to be holding his hand !".
Ethan shook his head in disbelief, and sat down on the fine Barcelona chair, as ordered, while Jim, looking very nervous, followed Brand into his consulting room.
"Right boy....Sit !", Brandt ordered.
Jim sat on the chair in front of Brandt's desk.
Dr Brandt took up his leather covered notebook and gold pen.
"So now - let's begin at the beginning, my boy.", he said slowly.
"To explain, a close friend of mine asked me to see you, as he felt that you had some problems - which seemed to be affecting your memory.
Is that true ?", Brandt asked, as way of introduction.
"Yes Sir, I have been having trouble remembering things." Jim replied.
"No need for the 'Sir', my boy.
Just talk to me as you would talk to a friend.", Brandt advised.
"Yes." Jim replied - and there was an awkward silence.
"Yes - so go on.
You are having trouble remembering things.... such as.?", Brandt probed.
"Well - when I first saw the 'Boss', I couldn't remember my name.", Jim explained.
"So....what happened about that ?", Brandt asked.
"Well the boss decided to call me 'Jim' - 'Jaguar Jim' - 'a new name for a new life...", and Jim's voice trailed away - and he thought that it sounded a bit stupid, saying it to someone else.
"And what do you think of the name 'Jim' ?", Brandt asked.
"Oh, it's OK.
"Nice and short, and easy to remember...", Jim explained.
"And so you can remember some things, Jim.", Brandt said.
"Yes, I suppose so.", Jim agreed.
"Good - but maybe there's a problem with things from a long time ago ?", Brandt asked.
"Yes....almost everything from a long time ago.", Jim replied, almost beginning to sound tearful.
"Well, let's have you a little more relaxed.
Go over and settle yourself on that sofa, (another van der Rohe job - worth over $2800, - but of course Jim had no idea of what it was, or what it was worth), and I'll sit at one end, where you can't see me, and you can imagine that your'e talking to that friend.", Brandt suggested, realizing that this was no case of a concussion, and some related amnesia - but something more serious - and more interesting.
"So relax, and tell me about your childhood ?", Brandt continued, with that question so beloved of psychoanalysts.
The Sea
"I remember the sea - but not like the sea here.
And beautiful white buildings - blue skies and sunshine.
And always longing for the sun and....and for freedom...
'Sol et spiritus libertatus' - Jim concluded slowly in a barely audible whisper.
"Say that again, Jim.", Brandt said, softly but obviously excited.
"I longed for the sun, and for freedom.", Jim repeated.
"No the last part.", Brand said, encouragingly.
"But there wasn't a last part...",Jim replied, confused.
"Tell me, Jim, did you learn any languages when you were at school ?
"Well....honestly, I can't remember ever going to school - although I seem to know what a school is." Jim replied.
Brandt was immersed in his notes, and at the softly whispered words that he had just about managed to hear, and write down, and underline - Sol et spiritus libertatus.
But he was puzzled.
Had he misheard - and was he deluding himself ?
Did the boy's final mumbling just sound like a Latin phrase - but in reality meant nothing ?
"So Jim - your mother and father - tell me about them.", Brandt continued, deciding to take a different approach.
I have no actual memories of them, Doctor, but I do have a vague image someone - someone who seems similar, in some strange way, to 'the 'Boss' - but he wasn't my father - jut another image floating around in my mind.
Maybe it is the 'Boss', and my images are just getting mixed up.
It's the same with Ethan - I know him, and yet I don't !
It's like the sea, Doctor - all the mixed up images, but they're all faint, and clouded - and then something will happen, or I will see something - and suddenly an image will become sharper, but before I can get hold of it - it's gone !
Am I crazy, Doc ?
Am I mad ?", Jim asked excitedly, lifting himself up off the sofa.
Brandt stood up.
"Calm down Jim ! - and lie back.
You're not crazy or mad, but something has happened to you, and it has forced you to forget." Brandt insisted.
"Now rest there, and I will try to explain what is happening.
I can't be completely sure, but I think that you are showing the symptoms of 'Psychogenic Amnesia', which is a memory disorder where you are unable to remember things for a period of time ranging from hours to years.
This kind of memory loss often involves an inability to recall personal information, and so there is there is a lack of conscious self-knowledge, which affects even simple self-knowledge, such as who you are.
One way of curing this condition is to try and discover the trauma that has forced you to forget, and this can be done with drugs, and also with hypnosis, and 'free association'.
Now all of this may take some time, but I'm sure that, with your co-operation, we can definitely improve your condition.
So I will report back to Dr. Lockwood that I will start planning a course of treatment for you.
As for you - it will not really help if you try to force yourself to try to remember things, and I would prefer it if you just spend time relaxing, doing the things that you enjoy, and taking plenty of exercise.
I will , of course, need to see you regularly, and for quite long sessions - but I'm sure that in the end we shall see a considerable improvement.
So how does that sound ?"
"It sounds good - and you will let Dr. Lockwood, and the "Boss' know that I'm not 'crazy'.
You see, I'm frightened that I might get 'thrown out' if they think they have a 'crazy boy' on their hands.", Jim explained, finally feeling that he could speak honestly to Dr. Brandt.
"Jim.... no one's going to 'throw you out'.
With the 'Boss' you are 'safe and secure'.
He really likes you - he told me !
Now off you go, and Dr Lockwood will tell you when you next have to see me.", Dr. Brandt said, opening the door of the consulting room.
"And you, young man." Dr. Brandt said, speaking to Ethan, who had jumped up out of his gleaming Barcelona chair, - "Every thing will be good...eventually...but for now I want you to take care of young Jim, until the next time I see him."
"Yes, Sir !", Ethan stuttered, grinning with obvious relief.

Jim and Ethan are initially driven back to the apartment......but the 'Boss' 'phones, and they are diverted to the 'Club Jaguar',
to pick up the 'Boss' and go to lunch, and do some shopping..
and now begins the long process, for Jim, of adapting to his new life.
  
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